Unexpected Tests

I just survived an epic spider battle that began in my bed. Oh. My. God.

When I realized what it was that fell from the mosquito net, I immediately leapt from the bed and grabbed a magazine to arm myself. I struck automatically, hoping it would be a swift end to the invader. I only managed to wound it before stopping to compose myself. Amanda talked me down when I called her. I approached with new confidence despite having found the limb I had claimed, which looked both scaly and hairy (not the best combination).

After seeing me attack the beast, I thought Crunchy’s predatory instincts might give me the edge I needed. He was of no such help. The cat decided to paw the spider only playfully, and leave me the dirty work. My shoe was the hero after I cornered the spider between my mattress and the wall.

Crunchy had a chance to redeem himself when a second equally vicious-looking spider arrived near my pile of laundry. This time he pulled it together and was successful with kill number 2.

Being able to see the corpses was not comforting, as I had realized just what it was that fell on my face while I was dozing off. They looked a little like how I imagine baby tarantulas to look. They were the same shape and possessed the same jumping agility. The hair, however, was more akin to peach fuzz.

Is it possible that there is a nest somewhere in my house, led by the full-grown version? My skin crawls with scurrying arachnophobia. I do not like spiders. I would love to check this off my list of accomplishments, but I just can’t be sure the war is over. If you don’t hear from me in a few days, send someone in with a big can of bug poison or a flamethrower. Or both.


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10 thoughts on “Unexpected Tests

  1. mr.e says:

    how i relish the times that we would squeal like schoolgirls and leap onto the furniture in our underpants when a spider would intrude on our lives at the charles street house.

    you must train crunchy to eat the dirty bastards.

  2. Amelia says:

    I know how much you hate spiders. I’m cringing at this post and wish you all the best in the on-going battle. Miss you terribly.

  3. Dad says:

    Okay fess up – how big was the beast?

    Not sure I ever told you the story of the Black Widow I found in my bedspread on the floor of my apartment in California. I ended up placing a jar over it, then slid a piece of cardboard under and took it outside – deciding pulverizing it in the apartment would have been a mess to big to clean!

    • jeremiahardy says:

      It was only a couple inches in diameter, but that’s pretty big in the context of my face! This battle wasn’t as messy as it could have been – cross your fingers that I won’t have many more like it

  4. cbmambu says:

    It sounds like a nightmare. The spiders here are crazy, to be sure. Do you know that it wasn’t a tarantula? They’re definitely in this part of the world — I saw one at my home-stay in Kanye. I hope it was a fluke and there isn’t a nest nearby. Yuck!

    • jeremiahardy says:

      I don’t know whether it was or wasn’t… It was a pale yellow color, but it’s totally plausible that it would grow into a big hairy tarantula. They are awful. I hope this isn’t the start of more attacks!

  5. Grandma says:

    Really enjoyed your adventure, with the beast, Love ya and miss you

  6. Mom says:

    Reading this post made my skin craw, remember the time when Ash played that prank on you w/the mechanical spider? Kinda wish that was the case instead of the real spider. Hope you’re doing well otherwise, thinking of you everyday and miss you very much. Need anything? Would like to coordinate to skype you soon so i can hear your voice again. Love you and hope to talk to you soon!

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