In a lot of ways I feel like I’m living in an age of prehistory. I generally enjoy being unplugged and off the grid, but once in a while it bothers me how unknowledgeable I am about current events and issues of the moment. The concerns of my days have very little to do with things that affect the rest of the world. Instead I’m wrapped up in my own small community. My successes aren’t particularly grand and my failures don’t matter outside of the scope of a few kilometres. I guess it’s just easy to feel insignificant.
I’ve had a good few days here recently, despite my tone. A couple of friends visited for the 4th and helped me with a workshop I planned for my group. The event was successful, and I feel accomplished in my goals of jumpstarting and diversifying interest. My friend contributed her knowledge of craft making and income generation – sustainable cash flow is an important concept for my budding organization. We also focused our attention on psychosocial support since it usually falls by the wayside. Most of the other interventions I’ve tried to establish some sort of consistency with the group have failed, so I hope some of this workshop catches on.
My other primary venture has been gaining traction as well, and there has been a recent rise in the number of circumcisions being done at the hospital. Everything moves slowly here, but having tangible numbers is encouraging at such early stages of our mobilization efforts. Collaborations with other agencies have helped a great deal. This is the project I’m most motivated by right now, and if my contributions cause real interventions I will feel successful.
So why is there such a sudden feeling of discontent? Perhaps I’m affected by the awareness of my mortality – and a quarter-life crisis. In less than 2 weeks I’ll turn 25. Milestones are often the loneliest times here, though I’m lucky to have great people in my life (both home and in Botswana) to remind me I’m not forgotten. The other thing milestones are good for is initiating panic about the future. Do I have anything to show for my early twenties? Where will the next 5 years take me? The concept of time is wearing on me.